Lightbulbs and pretzels
by Young Justice Freakshow
Summary: I couldn't think of a title. Superman, Green Lantern, Green Lantern, Flash, Batman, Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, Green Arrow, and Aqualad are turned into eight yearolds, with the exception of Kaldur, who's three. What happens when the adults and the team have to baby sit? And why did Hawkgirl spank Flash? T for crude humor. Inspired by 'Kid's Stuff'.
1. Chapter 1

This is not as funny as it looks." An eight year old Batman said, scowling. He was having to keep his uniform from falling off with his hands and his utility belt was hanging over his shoulder.

"This is exactly as funny as it looks." Eight year old Green Lantern (Guy) said, smiling as he held his adult sized pants up.

The team members-minus Kaldur- and a few of the adults who didn't go on the failed mission tried to suppress laughs.

"This is very serious!" An eight year old Superman said.

"Stop-Stop giggling!" Eight year old Green Lantern (John) shouted.

Robin fell to the ground, cackling uncontrollably.

Black Canary shook her head as several eight year old versions of the league members entered the tech room.

Wonder Woman had tied her uniform around herself, wearing it like a secure towel. She was walking into the tech room last, holding a toddler's hand, the toddler they realized, was Kaldur.

"Its okay," Wonder Woman cooed as Kaldur was crying. His hair was a tad longer, and he was only wearing his shirt, which now fit him like a dress.

"Kaldur?" M'gann gasped as she ran over to them.

Kaldur held his arms out her, sniffling.

She picked up her crying friend and held him on her hip. "What's wrong?" She asked gently.

Kaldur sniffled, resting his head on her chest. "My water marks gone..." he whimpered.

"Aww, its okay, they'll come back." M'gann said, wiping some tears of of Kaldur's cheeks.

"WALLY!" Everyone heard a little boy shout.

They looked at Wally, and burst out laughing. He had a little blonde boy in the Flash costume sitting on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around Wally's head.

"I wanna go to Disneyland! DisneylandDisneylandDisneyla nd! I can act like a kid and no one will even care!" The little boy shouted.

Wally winced as his uncle pulled his hair. "Since when do you care what people think?"

"I don't!"

Zatanna and Artemis ran over to M'gann and Kaldur.

"He's so cute!" Zatanna said as she stopped in front of them, pinching Kaldur's cheek.

Kaldur blushed, wiping his nose with his arm.

"Kaldur, you were a pudgy baby." Artemis said, smirking.

Kaldur pathetically growled at her.

Black Canary watched as everyone complained and made fun of eachother. Then she watched as a very petite blonde boy walked up to her. He was holding up huge green clothes around himself and a was struggling to hold onto a bow and quiver. He looked up at her.

"Well." He said, throwing his arms up, effectively dropping everything. "You said you wanted kids." He said.

All the girls in the room awwed.

"Ollie..." Black Canary kneeled in front of him. "This isn't what I had in mind."

The guys laughed.

"Okay, everyone!" M'gann shouted, setting Kaldur down. "All the guys go to Rob and Wally, they'll get you guys some clothes. And the girls come with us." She said gesturing towards herself, Zatanna and Artemis.

Xoxoxoxjxj

Wally and Robin handed the boys some clothes that could be manually mended to fit them as the eight year olds walked into the shower rooms. Robin handed Kaldur one of Zatanna's t shirts and a pair of her shorts. "Zatanna said you could wear these."

Kaldur nodded and took the clothes, following the other boys.

From outside the door, Wally and Robin heard a series of "Dafuq is that?" And "my pubes are gone!" and "Aww, we're missing parts!".

Wally and Robin held their hands over their mouths, but were silent.

That was just too damn funny to laugh at. Especially when Kaldur said oh-so innocently "That's gone too?"

Xoxoxoxu

The kids were assighned to baby sit their respected mentors. M'gann took care of Kaldur, since J'onn did not participate in that mission while Zatanna worked on finding out what spell Klarion had used. Dinah was taking care of Ollie so that Artemis could watch the lanterns. Robin took care of Bruce, Wally took care of Barry, and Diana and Shayera were responsible enough to not have to be babysitted. Conner had taken Clark to the Kent farm.

In the rec room, Artemis, little John and little Guy were playing Call of Duty. Kaldur was on his stomach, laying contently on the ground as he colored on some paper that M'gann had provided for him. M'gann sat on the couch as Diana braided her hair. Bruce and Robin were going through some files in the kitchen. Dinah was in her office as Ollie sat on the ground next to her, polishing his bow.

"Gah! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Barry screamed as he was dragged into the kitchen by Shayera.

Shayera had him by the ear and Wally followed behind them, laughing.

"Bad boy!" Shayera yelled, spanking Barry.

Everyone either burst out laughing or was snickering. Bruce rolled his eyes and went back to his files.

Shayera dropped Barry and let him fall on his butt.

Barry's bottom lip started to tremble as he looked down at the ground. Small whimpers came from him as he sat on the floor.

"Uh oh." Wally said as he kneeled beside Barry. "Its okay," he said nervously as Barry started bawling. "Wanna go see Iris?"

"Mm hmm..." Barry nodded.

Then they were gone.

Xxoxoxo

Since people aren't reviewing on my stories (and I only update if I get reviews) and i have time I think ill make this a series of short chapters about when the kids are with the side kicks. So review and drop ideas.


	2. Chapter 2

"You sure about this?" Conner asked as he and little Clark walked onto the porch of the Kent house.

"Pft, _course not_." Clark knocked in the door.

They heard a few muffled voices inside and then an old man opened the door. He looked from Clark to Conner, thinking they looked very familiar.

"Hey, Pa." Clark said waving. "I can explain." He said.

"Clark?" The man said, kneeling in front of him. "That's you?"

"Yeah."

"Did you say Clark?" A woman yelled and walked over to them. "Well I'll be darned." She said when she saw Clark and Conner.

"Hey, Ma." Clark smiled. "Good to see you."

"Get in here. Hon, let them em in. Get in here, both of you." Ma said as she lead the boys and a very confused Pa into the house. "Lets sit down in the parlor." She said and lead them down the hall.

Conner looked around and saw the house as decorated with a very countryish style and had pictures and cotton curtains over he windows.

They entered a room with old white couches and blue accents.

"So," Ma said as they sat down, looking at Clark. "What's going on?" She was sitting on a couch with Pa while Conner and Clark sat on the couch across across com it.

"There was a ...small problem on a mission..." Clark said as he twiddled with his fingers."Several league members and a team member were umm...de-aged."

Conner and Pa both seemed rather uneasy.

"And who is this young man?" Ma asked, looking at Conner.

"Uh...he's umm..." Clark stuttered.

"Clark is one of my dads." Conner said innocently.

Ma's eyes widened and Pa choked on air. "What?" They asked.

"Clark, we did not raise you that way!" Ma said. "We went to church, we prayed, what did we do wrong?"

"N-no!" Clark yelled, his young voice breaking. "He's not my son."

"I'm not?" Conner asked.

"Ah, no, you are-"

"He is?" Ma asked.

"No! Gah!" Clark held his hands in his hands. "He's a clone. Of me."

"Clone?" Pa asked.

"Yes, not technically my son, but I'm still taking care of him."

"I'm Conner." Conner said matter of factly.

"It's nice to meet you, Conner." Ma smiled. She elbowed Pa. "Looks like we finally got those grand kids we wanted."

xoxoxoxoxo

Well. I didn't laugh when i read it, i dont think you did either.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm not so sure about this, uncle Barry " Wally said as he and his eight year uncle walked to Barry's and Iris's house. Wally wasn't driving yet, and he wasn't going to let his uncle drive the way he was.

"Relax, kid." Barry said. "She'll know it's me."

"Umm...sure." Wally said as they walked down the sidewalk. Beside them was the city park, which took up the whole block.

"Wally, Wally, Wally!" Barry said, tugging on Wally's hand. "Lets go to the park! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplea se!"

"No." Wally said, pulling Barry forward.

"Yes." Barry said, pulling his arm from Wally's grasp. "I'm the adult, and I say we go to the park." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, I forgot." Wally said sarcastically. "You're the adult. Obviously." Wally grabbed Barry's arm again. "Lets go."

"But...but..." Barry's lip started quivering.

"No, no, nonononono Barry!" Wally let go of Barry and Barry plopped down onto the sidewalk, wailing.

"Barry, stop!" Wally kneeled in front of Barry. "Uncle Barry..." he pleaded.

Barry kept crying, falling backwards. This escalated into a full blown tantrum with flailing limbs and screams.

"Uncle Barry, we're not going to Disneyland if you keep cryng." Wally warned.

Barry screamed and continued crying.

"Don't make me tell Aunt Iris about those magazenes!" Wally threatened.

Barry stopped crying and sat up. What would he do if Iris found his stash of Seventeen magaznes? It would be sooo embarasing.

"Good boy," Wally said, pulling Barry to his feet. "Lets go see Iris." Wally said and continued to walk towards their house.

Xoxoxxo

"Aunt Iris?" Wally asked as he and Barry entered the house.

"In here, Wally." Iris said from the kitchen.

Wally and Barry sped into the kitchen.

Iris was doing dishes. "Val said she would cover any stories- who's that?" Iris asked when she turned around.

"Its me!" Barry said, opening up his arms.

"I would assume so..." Iris said, looking Wally.

"Its Barry." Wally said, scratching the back of his neck. "There was an accident -"

"Barry!?" Iris exclaimed, her eyes wide as she looked at the little boy in front of her, who had an eyebrow raised at her.

"Uh, yeah." Wally said.

"God..." Iris put her face in her hands. "Does that make me a pedophile?"

Wally burst out laughing and Barry rolled his eyes.

"I mean, " Iris started, looking up. "If the network finds out I'm married to a ten year old..." she trailed off.

"We-we..." Wally gasped as he tried to control his laughter. "Think that they're actually like eight of something."

"That's fucking worse!" Iris cried.

Wally couldn't help it. He started laughing again. The worst thing that he had ever heard come out of his aunts mouth was 'crud munching shut up-head'.

Barry stared wide eyed at his wife.

Iris calmed herself and looked at Barry. "Sorry, honey." She said. "Just kind of surprised. "

"Uh, aunt Iris?" Wally asked as he looked at the overflowing sink.

"Oh muffins!" She said and quickly shut off the tap.

Wally snickered and Barry looked at Iris nervously. "You still love me?" He asked.

"Oh, Barry." Iris said and kneeled in front of him. "Of course I still love you." She said and hugged him.

"I still love you too." Barry said, peckng Iris on the lips and pulling away. "Eww." He said, wiping his mouth on his sleave. "That's actually kinda gross."

Iris rolled her eyes and stood up.

Wally face palmed.

"Girls are gross..." Barry muttered.

Wally laughed again.


End file.
